Courageous Idiot
by SamuraiSal1
Summary: "You're an idiot. A courageous idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. …Being brave doesn't excuse you from doing dumb things, okay?" Tetra/Link one-shot


Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid him, stupid me—it was a stupid situation in general.

His stupidity forced my stupidity, and I had to deal with both levels of stupidity.

Why, exactly, was everything so stupid right now?

Link was the first reason.

"Rest already, or Farore help me, I will beat you senselessly with that stupid mirror shield!" I was pretty much shouting, and I knew that giving him a headache would just make him more stubborn, but I would _not_ just stand around waiting for him to knock himself out cold with exhaustion!

It was already late afternoon, and being the hottest part of the day, I knew for a fact that he was dehydrated. His chapped lips were proof of that, at any rate. …Not that I've ever taken any special interest in his lips.

I glanced immediately away from him and toward our surroundings. For being a Forsaken Fortress and all, it was surprisingly nice. …In a moldy, moss and ivy covered, living-dead inhabited sort of place.

Okay, so I'm exaggerating on the 'living dead' part. But I wouldn't put it past Ganondorf.

"Shut up, Tetra. Leave me alone," he muttered, not even caring that I could hear him. …And unfortunately, not really caring about what I'd do to him once we were back on the ship. Like every third or fourth step, he stumbled a little bit.

If he wasn't careful, he'd twist his ankle, and then where would we be?

Finally deciding that I had had enough, I stepped in front of him and put both hands on his chest. I was disappointed to realize that he didn't even have the strength to push me off of him.

"I've had it. I've had it! You're either going to pass out or get yourself killed if we're ambushed. How are you supposed to battle whatever evil's out there right now—in this freakin' island—if you're too tired to hold your sword straight?" I made my best, 'I'm the captain; do what I say, blast it all!' face…

He just rolled his eyes and dodged to the left. Unfortunately, Link landed on his butt because he was apparently too tired to even keep his balance.

"Don't even," he said with a glare.

"'Don't even,'? 'Don't even,'? Who do you think I am? I have the freaking Triforce of _Wisdom_ engraved on the back of my hand—I'd think that it would at least warrant you to _listen_ to me! You just landed on your butt, and Nayru's bloody _pearl_ is going to have to deal with me if you don't shut up and sleep!" But even as I said this, he was standing up—shaking, but standing up!—and starting to move forward again.

This was honestly too much for me.

So, what do I do?

That would be stupid move number two.

I punched him in the back of the head, and honestly, he never really knew what hit him. Most days it would've taken at least two or three blows to even get him dazed, but apparently this was his body's way of saying, 'Thank you, Tetra! Now we can get this idiotic kamikaze to finally rest!'

…

But, of course, it would just be too convenient for the story to end here, right?

So. Yes. This is about when about fifteen moblins surrounded us. All making those annoying "NYETT" sounds, and all holding their spears menacingly. I needed some kind of weapon, and fast, especially since I didn't really want to use my (short-range!) dagger on so many enemies.

As much pride as I take in being a tomboy, I was immediately grossed out at the option of searching Link's clothing—especially since it looked like he hadn't washed any of it for about a month. But nonetheless, I swallowed my pride and dug through his pockets.

I found many useless things in there—a boomerang, a few potions of questionable origin that I wasn't too sure he should be carrying around, a kidnapped fairy banging on the glass with the most pathetic look on her face (I almost set her free out of pity, but I had a feeling that Link wouldn't appreciate it), maps of about five different dungeons, and a weird-smelling pear.

Thankfully, I managed to find something halfway useful in his innermost pocket. It looked insanely old, but I was grateful for anything by this point.

The moblins had advanced, and a few had halfheartedly chucked their spears at Link, but by then, I'd already gotten out the grappling-hook and had fastened it on the ceiling.

Much like my green-clad (although he really should wash the tunic) counterpart, the moblins didn't know what hit them. Unfortunately, once you hit one, about two more take their place.

But, of course, I'm Tetra. Do I seem the type of person to deal with that? About half an hour of constant head-stomping later, the moblins just… stopped coming. I took it as my cue to leave, but they didn't bother me anymore.

I turned back to Link, who was still sleeping on the floor. There was a puddle of drool under him, and I could have laughed.

Well, I got what I wanted, as usual.

But how in Nayru's pearl was I supposed to get him to a safe haven in the Forsaken Fortress?

000

After nearly two hours of dragging his lazy, idiotic carcass all over secret passageways (I'm not even going to go into all the times I had to stuff his body into a barrel), I finally found a place that was lofty enough to properly hide him without drawing attention. Apparently the guards will completely ignore some rooms in general, so we were perfectly safe. …So long as I didn't do anything stupid, like, say, taking on a guard.

Thankfully, I wasn't stupid. Having that Triforce of Wisdom thing may put a damper on your irrational thinking, but at least it let you really think about the things you did.

Give you patience, it does not.

I had taken inventory of his stuff five times already, and quite frankly, I was sick of waiting. Granted, his Picto-Box had three very entertaining shots in it, and those kept me occupied for all of ten minutes.

At first, I tried staring at him, because at least something alive and _moving_ (and as far as I'm concerned, breathing counts for movement) was better than something made of plastic or metal or wood and used to maim people. But then I realized what, exactly, I was doing, and made myself stop.

I would never, under any circumstances, consider Link cute. So, being me, I did my absolute best to put away that voice that seemed to be screaming, 'Uber Kawaii!' over and over again. I didn't even speak that language!

And right after I banished those thoughts, I immediately started to worry about him. Gee, thanks subconscious. Was this Zelda thing permanent? Because as far as I could tell, this was all a direct ploy to get me to be exactly like all of the other Zeldas. And, Farore's Courage, I would _not_ be bought into that.

…Even if I did start to worry about Link when the moon rose to its highest point in the sky, or kept his wrist in my hands at all times, because I wanted to make sure his pulse was steady. …And, really, did it matter if I put his head in my lap and put his cap over his arms, because, blast it all, he just looked so cold and uncomfortable that I couldn't help but try to make it easier on him?

Din. Why did he have to look so freaking innocent when he was asleep? Granted, I could only imagine the headache he would have when he woke up, but at present… well…

He would never notice that I smoothed his hair down while he slept, nor would he ever hear those lonely words, cutting through the darkness.

"You're an idiot. A courageous idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. …Being brave doesn't excuse you from doing dumb things, okay?"

He twitched a little then, but that was okay, because he wasn't really awake.

"I couldn't stand it if you ended up getting yourself killed."

000

Hours later, Link woke up and immediately went into a nervous frenzy. He did not soon forget that she tied him up with _his own freaking grappling hook!_


End file.
